Crime Writer Margot Kinberg

I’m not sure where to start. I’ve never been to a psychologist. It’s a little weird. And I’m not even sure there’s anything wrong. This was really my husband Ted’s idea. He says I’ve been anxious lately and he’s worried about me. Have I? Maybe, I don’t know. I’m usually a pretty sane person. I’m not the type to imagine things that aren’t there. That’s what makes this all so strange. I don’t think I’m crazy, but maybe I am starting to lose it.

An example? I’ve been misplacing things lately. Like, last week, I had my laptop on the sofa in our living room. I was working on some files, and it’s comfortable there. I got up to go to the bathroom, and when I got back, the laptop wasn’t there. I found it a couple of minutes later on the dining room table. I guess I moved it there and forgot. That’s what Ted said happened. How could I forget something like that? And then two days ago, I was leaving for work, and I couldn’t find my keys. I always keep them on a tray by the door, but they weren’t there. I found them in the pocket of my coat, so that was OK. But still, I don’t remember putting them there.

I know, people forget things sometimes. But this kind of thing’s been going on for a few weeks now, and I can’t explain any of it. My laptop, my keys, and oh, I forgot to mention my bank card! I keep that in my wallet, but yesterday morning, I couldn’t find it. I pulled everything out and finally found it stuck in my purse. I’m just worried because I keep doing things like that. I don’t know if I’m starting with dementia or something else is wrong. It really is making me anxious. I’m having trouble sleeping and I know it’s hard on Ted. He keeps looking at me strangely, like something is wrong with me. Yeah, you’re right, that’s just making things worse!

Stress? I don’t think so. Ted and I don’t have kids, so that’s not a problem. We’re not rich, but our company is doing decently financially. It’s a home remodeling company. Ted oversees the contractors, and I work with the customers to design what they want. I also handle the business side – payroll, bills, that kind of thing. I’ve also got a trust fund from my parents. My job keeps me busy, but it’s not any more stressful now than it ever was. My last vacation? I guess a year ago. We treated ourselves to a week in the Caribbean.

Yeah, maybe you’re right. Maybe I just need some me time. A couple of days at a spa or something. That does sound good. What? I guess so. I don’t usually take a lot of medication, but I do need to sleep better. Thanks. OK, I’ll set one up with your receptionist on the way out.

Two Weeks Later

I hate to say it, but I’m not any better. I told Ted about just getting away and he was all for it. So, I spent a couple of days at a spa. Had a great time. But things haven’t improved. I looked through the company mail when I got home and found bills for things I didn’t order for us. Ted says he remembers me talking to him about them, but I didn’t think I placed any orders. Maybe I did. I just don’t know. I don’t even know who those companies are. It’s just getting worse and worse. Oh, thanks. I don’t usually get weepy, but this is really upsetting to me. I don’t make mistakes like that. Maybe I should give up my work, so I don’t do any damage to the company.

Medical? I always thought I was healthy – never had any problems like that. But maybe I do have some sort of chemical imbalance or something. OK, that’s a good idea. Yeah, I could use a little help sleeping, so thanks.

Four Weeks Later

I went to my doctor, and she said everything seems fine. She’s referred me for some neurological testing, but she didn’t find any red flags herself. But whatever is wrong with me isn’t getting any better. I keep losing things, forgetting things, and messing things up. Ted steps right up, especially with the company stuff, but it’s hard on him. He keeps looking at me like I’ve ruined his life. Maybe I have. We’re just going to wait on the tests and see what happens, I guess.  I don’t know how much more of this I can take, though. I’m even sort of planning to sign everything over to Ted, so the business won’t go under if something is really wrong with my mind. What do you think? It is risky, but I don’t want the company to fold; there are people who depend on us. And there’s Ted. I don’t want him to lose everything.

Three Weeks Later

Local Remodeler’s Death is a Suspected Suicide

WARFIELD – Abigail Trasker, 38, died yesterday as a result of a fall from the balcony of her home.  Police say she died at approximately 9:00 AM. Her body was discovered by her husband, Edward Trasker, 40, at 5:30 PM when he arrived home from his office. The Traskers owned the well-regarded remodeling company Home Innovations. The death is being labeled a suicide pending the coroner’s report.

One Week Later

Abigail Trasker Recently Suffered From Anxiety and Depression

WARFIELD – The death of Abigail Trasker has left her friends and
colleagues baffled. She had apparently been in sound mental and physical
health, but had recently begun to have bouts of depression. “She did
seem off lately,” said one of her co-workers. “I think she was upset about
something,” said her personal assistant. The company, Home Innovations,
will be closed for three days in observance of her funeral. It will open on
Monday under the direction of Edward Trasker.