There’s a lot to be said for being a writer. There’s no dress code, you have an excuse to ignore people if you want to, and you’re expected to be a little – er – eccentric and eat an unhealthy diet. Oh, and you have the perfect alibi when you’re doing online searches that people might find, well, odd, or questionable. And hey, I mean, people pay you to make stuff up. It’s a pretty good life. But writers do need to communicate with the outside world at times, especially when they’d like to sell their books. That can present a challenge, even for people like writers, who are wordsmiths by nature. Most writers don’t want to be outwardly rude, so they may say things that don’t always reflect exactly what they’re thinking. This can lead to misunderstandings. After all, other people don’t always think the way writers do.
I believe the solution might be for writers and other people to learn how to communicate with each other. Let’s start with this handy guide. Hopefully, it’ll help writers respond to other people’s questions and comments in a ‘normal people’ way and help other people to understand what a writer really means. Take a look and let me know what you think.
| What People Say | How Writers Respond | What Writers Mean |
| Ooh, is this your new book? Tell me the story. | It’s a crime novel with an amateur sleuth. | You’re holding the book. Take it to the front, pay for it, and find out for yourself. |
| I read your book. | Oh, I’d love your feedback. | Only if you’re going to say something nice. Otherwise I don’t think I can handle it. |
| I’ve got the whole plot for your next novel. How about this?…… | Thanks for that idea. | I wouldn’t touch that muddle with a ten-foot pole. |
| You really should have had A be the murderer instead of B. Oh, and…. | Those are interesting thoughts. | Why not take your thoughts and write your own book? (Unless the speaker is an editor or a beta reader, etc.) |
| Oh, you’re a writer! So, what’s your real job? | I write crime fiction – mystery novels. | *Mentally banging head against wall* |
| Wow, you have a new book out! Can I take one to see if I like it? | You sure can. They’re [price] each. | No, you cannot just take merchandise. Pick a copy, take it up front, and pay for it. |
| Can you write me a book about [ ]? | Oh, sorry – I’m working on something else just at the moment. | Sorry, I am not a vending machine. |
| Writing’s easy, isn’t it? I mean, how hard is it to type some words? | *Insincere smile* There’s a little more to it than that. | Hmm, let’s see…months of writing and research, months of revising and editing, preparing for publication, promo, and that’s not including cooking, shopping, and…..I need a drink. |
| Oh, you’re a writer? Must be great to have so much time on your hands. I wish I did. | *Insincere smile* Writing keeps me pretty busy, actually | I get up at 3:30am so I have time to write and still eat, see my family, and sometimes do some laundry. |
Got any other suggestions? I’m always open to good ideas for communicating with the outside world.
Crime Writer Margot Kinberg 
So, you’re a writer. What exactly does that mean? * Well, I pull ideas together using words. * Let’s see, that means I lead a far more interesting life than you! (just something that popped into my head in between chortles from this post… 😉
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Oh, that’s *fantastic,* Annette! Thanks for sharing it and adding to my post! And I’m glad you found it funny.
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Fantastic translation Dame Margot!
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Why, thank you very much, Lady June!
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That was really fun and clever, Margot. Do people really ask you those insensitive questions?
And I have always wondered what happens in the year that it takes to publish the book. What work takes place over that period? And do you write a new book while revising the previous one?
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I’m very glad you enjoyed this, Tracy! And yes, I have been asked some of those questions (not, I admit, all of them, but they’re not as ‘out there’ as you might think.
As for publishing a book? It’s different for every writer. I can only speak for me. Once my book is done, the first step is revising and getting feedback from beta readers and other folks I trust. Then I make whatever changes need to be made. Then, it’s time to format for publication, arrange for cover art, and start telling everyone about the book. After another check (pagination, last-minute typos, etc..), the book gets in line for publication. I don’t generally start a new book during that time, although I might jot down ideas for a new one if I have them. While waiting for publication, I make launch day plans (sometimes a get-together or reading, sometimes something else). Writers have to wear a lot of hats unless they have a very big publisher doing that for them…
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Margot, thanks for giving me an overview of what happens when getting a book ready for publication. A lot of work! That was interesting.
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I’m glad you thought it was interesting, Tracy. It is a lot of work if you’re going to do it right, but I couldn’t see myself not being a writer.
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The insincere smile was the best.
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Thank you, Neeru. I was rather proud of that, though I say it myself.
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Ha, ha! Very entertaining!
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Thanks, Becky! I’m very glad you enjoyed this!
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That made me laugh, Margot – and also marvel at your patience!! Are people really that insensitive?? (I think I know the answer…)
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Glad you enjoyed it, KBR! And thanks for the kind words. You’re right, too; you do know the answer… I’ll confess I haven’t heard all of these questions and comments, but I’ve heard a few…
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Margot, there’s so much truth in your handy guide. It was fun to read. What I sometimes heard when I told people I write was something like this: I would too write a book except I need lots of spare time. AND The book I want to write- and it’s going to be a bestseller – is all in my head. Would you like to write it for me?
Happy Holidays, Margot.
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Happy Holidays to you, too, Carol. And thanks for sharing your own experience with people’s reaction to your being a writer. That ‘I have a book in my head that’s going to be a bestseller’ resonates with me! That one and, ‘I could tell you stories…..’ Oh, well… glad you enjoyed the post!
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Hilarious, Margot! Have a lovely Christmas!
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Thank you, Cath! So glad you enjoyed it. Happy Christmas!
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Oh that was good fun, and you are obviously very gracious!
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Thanks, Moira! I’m so glad you enjoyed this!
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I have a great idea for a plot that I know you’ll just love to write! This deranged bookblogger snaps one day and murders her postman who has just delivered another box of books. Could you please make the detective look like Darcy and fall in love with her? Thanks! 😉
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Well…my goodness, FictionFan. What an…interesting story idea. I can truly say that it’s the first time I’ve heard of a plot like this. I’m, um, not working on a project about a bookblogger just now, but what an – er – original plot idea!
(Actually, your comment is hilarious, FictionFan! Thanks for adding it in. And honestly, I think any postie who keeps bringing boxes upon boxes of books when you’re trying to get through your TBR would make a very appealing fictional victim… 😉 )
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😂
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Very good!!!!
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Thanks very much, William!
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Excellent and very funny and true 😂. One person asked me to write a book that they wanted to promote using their name without paying me for it! I said I can never get down to writing a novel. I’m more of a short prose guy. Sadly it’s the truth lol. At least it has been so far.
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Thank you, OP! I’m so glad you enjoyed this. And I think you had a terrific response to that person who wanted to use your skills to promote them – for free! There are people who are like that, aren’t there? And short prose has an awful lot to offer. Doing what you love and are good at counts for a lot, too.
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