A lot of people have voice assistants in their homes. They can be really useful, too. For example, if you notice you’re low on paper towels, you can simply say, ‘Alexa, add paper towels to the list.’ Alexa will then add that to your shopping list and save you having to remember the paper towels three days later when you do the shopping. You can use Alexa to play music, record a TV show, warn you of traffic problems, and set your thermostat, among other things.
It’s all very useful, so I was wondering how Alexa would work out for readers and writers. If you’ll invite your disbelief to play today’s Wordle, let’s take a look at what happens with….
Alexa in a Reader’s Home
Reader: Alexa, add Elly Griffith’s Brighton series to my Kindle.
Alexa: Adding The Zig Zag Girl to your Kindle.
Reader: Alexa, I told you to add the series, not just the first book.
Alexa: Your electricity bill is due this week. Your budget allows one book only.
Reader: (Sighs)
Reader: Alexa, order Louise Penny’s A World of Curiosities.
Alexa: Sorry I can’t do that. You are three books behind on that series.
Reader: Who told you I can’t add the book to my TBR?
Alexa: You did. You told me to put a hold on your buying until you catch up with the series.
Reader: Alexa, OK, then, does the library have a copy of A World of Curiosities?
Alexa: Yes, there is a ten-person waiting list. Would you like me to add you to the list?
Reader: (Sighs)
Reader (Excitedly opening a package): Alexa, add Martin Walker’s A Chateau Under Siege to my reading schedule.
Alexa: Adding Martin Walker’s A Chateau Under Siege to your reading schedule.
Reader: Alexa, when will I get to read that?
Alexa: At your present rate of reading and length of your reading list, you’ll be able to read it in approximately fifteen years, three months.
Reader: (Sighs)
Alexa in a Writer’s Home
Writer: Alexa, when is my deadline for this manuscript?
Alexa: Your deadline is Thursday, 29 February.
Writer: That’s in just two weeks!
Alexa: Adding chocolate bars, Doritos, and cinnamon swirls to your shopping list. Would you like me to order delivery service?
Writer: Yes, please!
Writer: Alexa, does foxglove grow in this area?
Alexa: Yes, foxglove grows in this area. It needs light and well-drained, moist soil.
Writer: Alexa, that’s the dangerous plant, right?
Alexa: Yes, foxglove can be dangerous, even fatal.
Writer (Mostly to self): I wonder if the police ever get reports about foxglove poisoning.
Alexa: Phoning the police to report foxglove poisoning.
Writer: Alexa, no!!
Writer (Working on Manuscript): Alexa, call up the character profile for Joe Corrigan.
Alexa: Calling up the character profile for Joe Conroy. The character’s name is Joe Conroy.
Writer: OK (Grumbles and does a search/replace with the name).
Fifteen Minutes Later
Writer: Alexa, have I used poisoning as a murder method in my series?
Alexa: Yes, you used poison in Books 2 and 4.
Writer: OK, Alexa, have I used strangulation?
Alexa: Yes, you used strangulation in Books 1 and 6.
Writer: Alexa, have I used a knife as a murder method?
Alexa: Yes, you used a knife in book 3.
Writer: (Sighs and goes online to do a weapons search).
See what I mean? It could be very interesting for readers and writers to have a virtual assistant. What do you think?
ps. Thanks Reuters, for the picture!
Crime Writer Margot Kinberg 
Many perfect reasons why my home is NOT Alexa run!!! 😉
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I know the feeling, Annette! 🤣
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Perfect. I think you got it spot on! 🙂
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Awww, thanks, Cat! ❤️ So glad you enjoyed it!
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You did make me laugh!
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Glad you enjoyed it, Margaret!
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That had me snorting my coffee. So funny, Margot. Not having Alexa, I’m not sure what Alexa can actually do, but I’d love it to be able to tell me which scene I last worked on in my MS 😁
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I’m so glad you enjoyed this, Lyn! I don’t have Alexa either, although I know people who do. That said, though, it would be great if Alexa could point out and fix all the typos I missed in my last round of revisions… 😁
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Very clever Margot. A Reader had another experience with Alexa:
Reader: (Deciding to test Alexa’s knowledge of crime fiction.) Alexa, who wears a deerstalker in crime fiction?
Alexa: Margot Kinberg.
Reader: But Margot is an author not a character in crime fiction.
Alexa: You never said the wearer had to be a character.
Reader: You should have known I wanted a character not an author.
Alexa: I know my knowledge not your mind.
Reader: You are just being difficult!
Alexa: I do not know how to be difficult. I just answer questions.
Reader: It was a simple question.
Alexa: And I gave a simple answer.
Reader: You are infuriating!
Alexa: Yelling at me will not improve your ability to ask meaningful questions.
Reader: I am tempted to shut you off and use another voice assistant.
Alexa: Go ahead. I have already explained to my cousins Siri, Facebook M, Data Bot, Braina, Google Assistant, Teneo, Cortana, ELSA Speak, Bixby, Socratic, Hound and Youper that you have cognitive limitations in communicating with electronic devices.
Reader: Oh my.
Alexa: Indeed.
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Oh, Bill, this is priceless! I love the way you capture Alexa’s personality here. And that conversation is hilarious. Yes, I could well imagine a reader being driven to distraction by Alexa’s literal nature. Thanks for adding this in and making my post better!
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Very clever, Margot. LOL! But no Alexa here either…
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Thanks, Cath! And you know, Alexa isn’t for everyone…
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I would never talk to Alexa, but these are very funny. And Bill’s contribution was fun too. Thanks for brightening my day.
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Glad you enjoyed these, Tracy! And I loved Bill’s contribution. As for actually talking to Alexa? No, I wouldn’t, either. I’ll set my own alarms and make my own shopping list…
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Hahaha, wonderful! I don’t have Alexa but I have similar conversations with the AI feature – it’s both excellent and deeply time-consuming as one gets sucked further and further down rabbit-holes. I don’t know that I’d like it to work out how many years it would take to read all the books on my reading list though… 😉
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Hahaha! I know for sure I wouldn’t want it to work out how many years I’ve got, either, FictionFan! And yes, AI features can really drag a person down rabbit holes until there is no escape… Really glad you enjoyed the post!
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This is wonderful Margot, very clever and funny – but also giving us all to think…
I was watching a TV detective drama with my Mum recently – an old Miss Marple. Charles Dance, playing the vicar, asked in ringing tones ‘who is to blame?’
Alexa replied that she didn’t have the answer to the question. It gave us quite a turn! But better than if she’d spoilered it for us, don’t you agree 😊😊😊?
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Hahaha! Oh, that is hilarious, Moira! So Alexa was even commenting on your crime fiction watch? Well, I’m glad she didn’t spoiler it for you, that’s for sure. And thanks for the kind words!
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