Most of remember warnings and other things our parents used to tell us. You know, ‘Pick up those things! Don’t leave them on the floor.’ Or perhaps, ‘Stop wasting your time watching television, and go do something.’ Those things were meant to help us get ready for adulthood. But did we listen? It all makes me wonder what our top fictional sleuths might have heard as children. If you’ll settle your disbelief with a Netflix film and some snacks, let’s take a look at…
Things Sleuths’ Parents Told Them…
I Hercule Poirot (Agatha Christie)
‘Hercule, you must stop eavesdropping on others’ conversations. It’s rude.’
‘For once, just leave those things where they are. There’s no need to straighten everything.’
‘Stop complaining about the food and just eat what you’re given.’
‘It doesn’t matter if your shoes get dusty. Stop worrying and come along now.’
II Maud Silver (Patricia Wentworth)
‘Maud, my dear, do go outside and play. You can’t spend the whole day knitting.’
‘Are you feeling ill? That’s the fourth time I’ve heard you cough in the last fifteen minutes. I should take you to a doctor.’
‘Stop trying to pair people up, Maud. You should think about finding your own husband.’
‘Oh, don’t look so innocent. I’m sure you know more than you’re saying.’
III Nero Wolfe (Rex Stout)
‘You’re going to summer camp, Nero, and that’s that. You can’t stay at home forever.’
‘Leave those flowers alone and go play football. That’s what boys do.’
‘Come downstairs right now, Nero. Fifteen minutes one way or the other doesn’t matter.’
‘What did you just say? I can’t understand you when you use those fancy words.’
IV Salvo Montalbano (Andrea Camilleri)
‘Don’t be so grumpy, Salvu. You’re always complaining!’
‘Life’s about more than food, you know. Now, go do your schoolwork.’
‘What did I tell you? You’re going to keep getting in trouble if you insult people who annoy you.’
‘Yes, you have to get up now. The alarm clock’s been ringing. And stop glaring at me!’
V Superintendent Andy Dalziel (ReginalVId Hill)
‘Eat your veg, Andy. It’s good for you. Ye want to grow up big and strong, don’t ye?’
‘Don’t be saying things like that! It’s not fitting.’
‘At least think of going to uni, Andy. Could mean a good job.’
‘Ye won’t get very far yelling at people like that.’
VI Ruth Galloway (Elly Griffiths)
‘Ruth! Stop digging in that dirt and come in right now. You’ll get filthy.’
‘Stay away from those strange kids. They’re no good.’
‘No, you can’t join the Science Club. You have worship on Wednesday afternoons, and religious class on Fridays.’
‘Don’t worry about university. You don’t need an education to find a husband.’
Got any additions you’d like to make?
Crime Writer Margot Kinberg 
Love it!
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Thanks very much, Virginia!
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This is great; so imaginative!
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Thank you so much, Becky! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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Especially the part about Ruth:)
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Thanks very much! 😊
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Very clever, Margot, and fun.
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Thanks very much, Tracy!
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Loved the Maud Silver ones.
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Thanks very much, Neeru!
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That really made me laugh – thank you, Margot!
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So glad you enjoyed it, KBR! We all need a laugh, and I’m glad you got one here!
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Haha, I do wish Miss Silver’s mother had managed to stop her coughing! And the idea of Nero Wolfe playing football made me chuckle. These are great, Margot! 😂
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Thanks, FictionFan!😊 I’m so glad you enjoyed the post. And you know you’re right; I wish Miss Silver had been treated for that coughing a long time ago! As for Nero Wolfe, I doubt he’d last long in a football squad…
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Wonderful, Margot! I especially like the Ruth Galloway one.
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Thanks so much, Cath! I’m very glad you enjoyed these.
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Margot: I am sorry to be late to his great post. I have not been spending much time in the blogsphere the past few days. Your samples of parental commentary and advice are so clever. I would like to add:
The mother of Lincoln lawyer, Mickey Haller, while driving him to school:
“I swear Mickey, sitting in the back seat of a car doing your homework, is no way to succeed in life.”
The mother of Sheriff Walt Longmire on Walt wearing his stetson in the house:
“Young man. You need to get some manners. You weren’t born in a barn.”
Kinsey Milhone’s mother:
“Kinsey, a woman needs more than one little black dress, no matter how durable.”
The mother of Bruno Courrèges:
“Mon Dieu! Quit complaining Bruno, if you’re going to eat patê and truffles every day you have to come home right after school to learn how to make patê and for your father to teach you how to train a truffle hound”.
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No worries, Bill. You’re welcome here any time. Thanks for these really funny additions to my post. I laughed out loud more than once as I read them. I can just imagine those parental comments! You made my post better, and I appreciate it.
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