Crime Writer Margot Kinberg

In the US, the National Football League is about to start a new season. The Canadian Football League is already two months into its season. Now, being a reader, I tend to think in terms of books. So, as this football season goes on, I’m wondering whether editors could apply some of football’s penalties to the books they assess. I think it might prevent a lot of problems. See what you think would happen…

If Football Penalties Applied to Books

I Unnecessary Roughness

In Canadian and US football, this means using more force than needed to block the opposing team or tackle one of its players.

In books, this could mean violence that doesn’t serve the plot and gets excessive. A penalty like this could really make authors think before they get gratuitous.

II Delay of Game (Time Count Violation in Canadian Football)

In football, this means waiting too long to move the ball or get set for the next play of the game. The idea is to move the game along and keep the action going.

I think books can benefit from moving the plot along. A Delay of Game/Time Count Violation would motivate authors to move the story along and not spend time on descriptions or other things that slow the plot too much.

III Too Many Men on the Field

In both American and Canadian football, there’s a limit to the number of players who can be on the playing field at the same time. There’s a penalty for exceeding that number.

If you’ve ever read a book where there were far too many characters to keep track of, you know how frustrating that can be. Wouldn’t it be nice if there were a penalty involved, so authors would be less likely to overdo the list of characters?

IV Unsportsmanlike Conduct

In Canadian and American football, there are penalties for behaving in inappropriate ways. Taunting the other team, removing a helmet after a play, and blatantly deceiving an opponent or an official are examples.

Now, what if books could be assessed this sort of penalty? For instance, what if a book got a penalty for clues that the sleuth ‘magically’ finds? Or for information that isn’t provided to the reader until the very end? Or for those ‘nick of time’ miracles? I think you’d find books would be a lot more credible.

V Pass Interference

In American and Canadian football, this happens when a player illegally prevents an eligible player from catching/carrying the ball. For example, players aren’t allowed to grab a player’s arm or jersey so as to prevent that player from catching the ball.

When you think about it, this could be a useful penalty in books. For instance, you’re trying to follow a plot, but there are sudden events or plot holes that make it almost impossible for you to keep track of what’s happening. It would be much fairer to the reader to prevent those things from happening.

VI False Start

In Canadian and American football, this happens when a player for the offense moves before the ball is snapped (put into play). The penalty is designed to prevent the offense from having a head start to a play. Now, some limited motion is allowed, but it is very restricted and must completely stop at least one second (in American football) before the ball is snapped.

How could this apply to books? Consider prologues. Some prologues do add to a story, and I’m not here to say they shouldn’t be allowed (I’ve done one myself in one of my novels). But it’s frustrating when you read a lengthy prologue that’s only tangentially connected to the plot. With a False Start penalty, an author can be reminded to be very judicious with prologues.

VII Holding

In American and Canadian football, holding is the illegal use of the hands or arms to pull, grab, twist, or otherwise restrict a player who’s not holding the ball. This makes for more fairness between offensive and defensive players, so that neither side has an advantage

Now, when it comes to books, a holding penalty could prevent romantic sub-plots from restricting the main plot. This isn’t to say romance in a novel is a problem. There have been some excellent romance novels, and other genres (including crime fiction) can also have a romance in a novel or series. But when it takes over (or takes attention away from) the main plot, that can be a problem. A holding penalty just makes that less likely.

What do you think? If books got penalties the way football teams and players do, would that improve books? It’s a thought, anyway. I wonder what would happen if editors actually did assess penalties like these.