The Paris Olympic Games are filling newscasts and social media posts all over the world, and it’s no wonder. It’s an exciting competition, filled with all sorts of drama and stories large and small. During the Tokyo Olympics three years ago, you may remember that I speculated a bit on what sorts of events there might be if there were a Sleuth Olympics. Hear me out, this could be a very engaging, exciting set of competitions, really. And it would show our sleuths as much more than just mystery solvers. This year, there are a couple of new events that might make it into the games. See what you think of this year’s…

Sleuth Olympics 

 Competitive Fashion

Announcer 1: I’m Talia Townes.
Announcer 2: And I’m Sam Sharp. Welcome to Day Two of Competitive Fashion. We’ve seen a lot of truly outstanding wardrobes in the qualifying rounds, and the main competition has been even more impressive.
Talia: It sure has, Sam. It’s coming down now to just a few major competitors. First up this morning will be Aimée Leduc (Cara Black), representing France.
Sam: She is a powerhouse, Talia. She has a keen sense of style, even when she’s dressing casually. She always knows which scarf to wear with which trousers or skirt.
Talia: That’s right, Sam. And she’s never without the right shoes, whether it’s Christian Louboutin or Manolo Blahnik or someone else.
Sam: Absolutely. But she’s got some major competition this year. Coming up right after her will be Australia’s Phryne Fisher (Kerry Greenwood). And she’s a force to be reckoned with.
Talia: She is indeed. Her timeless sense of style and cool elegance have blown away a lot of the competition, and she has the confidence to wear anything stylishly. This is going to be a close match.

Meanwhile at the….

Courtroom Competition

Announcer 1: Welcome back to the Courtroom Competition. I’m Ken Kingly.
Announcer 2: And I’m Brad Boser. We’re looking at a very exciting round of competition here, Ken.
Ken: Yes, we are, Brad. Lots of sleuths can solve crimes. And there are plenty of sleuths who are lawyers. But it’s in the courtroom in those arguments that lawyer sleuths can really shine.
Brad: Absolutely, Ken. And today’s round gives us two of the best. Up first is Horace Rumpole (John Mortimer), representing Great Britain. He has a long history of making the most of his arguments and using all sorts of purple prose to win juries over. And even when he doesn’t win cases, his pontification is hard to beat.
Ken: He’s a strong contender, that’s for sure. But today, he’s going up against Canada’s Arthur Beauchamp (William Deverell), who has a stellar record of making powerful oral arguments. And his use of florid language is legendary. He will give Rumpole real competition.
Brad: I understand that the USA’s Sandy Stern (Scott Turow) was scheduled to compete this year, too.
Ken: Yes, he was. But ill health has made that impossible. Had he been able to, though, there’s no doubt he’d be among the top contenders here.

Meanwhile, at the… 

Junk Food Competition

Announcer 1: Hello, everyone. I’m Sheila Shayne.
Announcer 2: And I’m Tom Tugman. Welcome to Day One of the Junk Food Competition.
Sheila: The Junk Food Competition has a long history among sleuths. Plenty of sleuths get more of their meals from fast food places and pubs than they do from home, and it’s easy to see why.
Tom: When you think of how much time these sleuths spend on their cases, it’s not hard to understand why they like drive-through options. And today, we’re going to see two of the best, aren’t we, Sheila?
Sheila: That’s right, Tom. Today, we’ll be seeing the legendary Kinsey Millhone (Sue Grafton), representing the USA. Kinsey herself will tell you she doesn’t cook at home. If she’s not at Rosie’s restaurant, she’s stopping for a burger and fries.
Tom: And she makes it look easy, too, doesn’t she? But it’s not going to be easy for her today. Her main competition will most likely be Andy Dalziel (Reginald Hill), representing Great Britain. And he will be tough to beat.
Sheila: Yes, he will, indeed. He is a fixture at pubs everywhere and doesn’t really cook at home. He’s an expert at all sorts of pub grub, and never turns down a good roast dinner. And he has the waistline and stamina to meet all the junk food challenges he’ll face.

Meanwhile, at the…

Tea Competition

Announcer 1: I’m Madison Mateson.
Announcer 2: And I’m Carla Crane. This year’s Tea Competition is shaping up to be one of the best we’ve seen, with lots of skill and talent.
Madison: Absolutely, Carla. We’ve already seen some fantastic displays of tea pouring and serving, not to mention the social skills that go with it. And today we’re in for some real treats.
Carla: Yes we are, Madison. One of our top competitors this year is Great Britain’s Miss Jane Marple (Agatha Christie). She has an incredible background in tea culture, and in fact, she’s found out quite a lot of information simply by having tea.
Madison: And you know, that’s the thing. Sleuths need those social occasions to interview suspects and witnesses, and Miss Marple is one of the best. But there are other strong contenders.
Carla: There are. One of this year’s bright stars is Mma Precious Ramotswe (Alexander McCall Smith), representing Botswana. She has quite a reputation for being able to talk to just about anyone over a cup of bush tea and cake. She’s famous for her politeness, her easy manner, and her compassion.
Madison: But don’t underestimate her. She always finds out the truth!

Meanwhile, at the…

Computers and Hacking Competition

Announcer 1: It’s a beautiful day here at the Computers and Hacking Competition. I’m Luke Levitt.
Announcer 2: And I’m Wanda Watson. We’re just about set for the finals of this year’s competition, and it’s been exciting.
Luke: It sure has, Wanda. We’ve seen some brilliant examples of getting past firewalls, chasing computer criminals, and a lot more. Some great skills are on display here today!
Wanda: That’s for sure, Luke. And it’s all come down to this. First up today will be Lisbeth Salander (Stieg Larsson), representing Sweden. Few people can touch her when it comes to getting into computer systems, following electronic trails, and finding out anything she wants. She’s a tough person, too, who’s determined and tenacious.
Luke: She sure is, Wanda. And today, she’ll face a real challenge: Canada’s Ava Lee (Ian Hamilton). She is a champion at following electronic money trails, tracing communications, and unearthing shadow companies and hidden assets. And talk about tough? She’s taken on some very formidable opponents. It’ll be a real nail-biter to see which one of these competitors will win.

 

So there you have it. New events in the Sleuth Olympics. What do you think? Will they be popular? Care to add more?

 

ps  Thanks , Vecteezy, for the lovely photo!