Crime Writer Margot Kinberg

If you read crime fiction, you probably do so for the entertainment. And of course, crime fiction offers wonderful settings, fascinating bits of history, and memorable characters, among other things. But did you know that crime fiction also offers some very important safety tips. It does! If you read enough crime fiction, you learn that there are some things that tend to put a person in grave danger. Avoiding those things can keep you safe. Don’t believe me? Just have a look at these…

Safety Tips From Crime Fiction

 I  Never visit a large country house.

This is especially true if it’s a more or less isolated country house. Even a quick glance at crime fiction shows you that country houses are extremely unsafe. There’s almost always at least one murder. Consider, for instance, Agatha Christie’s The Hollow. In that novel, Sir Henry and Lady Lucy Angkatell are hosting a house party at their country home. Lady Lucy has planned a luncheon for the Sunday and has invited Hercule Poirot to attend. He arrives punctually, only to find that someone has shot one of the guests, Dr. John Christow. On the surface, it seems to be a straightforward case, as the murderer is standing over the body, holding a gun. But it turns out to be more complicated than it seems. See what I mean? What’s supposed to be a lovely weekend in the country ends up being a murder investigation. So, if you get an invitation for a weekend at someone’s country retreat, I’d think twice or more about it.

II Be extra cautious if you are a beautiful young woman.

This one would seem to be self-evident, given all of the crime novels in which beautiful young women are abducted and/or found dead. Unfortunately, this happens a lot in fiction. Just as one example, Claire McGowan’s The Lost has as its central plot point the disappearance of Magella Ward and Cathy Carr from their hometown in Ballyterrin, Northern Ireland. Forensic psychologist Claire Maguire, who’s originally from Ballyterrin, is asked to return from her new home in London, to help set up a cold case review team. She immediately gets drawn into the case, and the search for the missing girls is intensified. As the novel goes on, we learn what the connection is between the girls, and how they came to be missing. And this is just one of so many, many novels where young women disappear. It just does not pay to be out and about if you’re a beautiful young woman – it just doesn’t. At the very least, crime fiction should teach you to be extra cautious.

III Wealth does not equal safety.

If you think about it, in a lot of crime fiction, the murder victim is someone with a fortune to leave. And that spells trouble. After all, there are greedy people out there who want nothing more than to get that money. Even if you’re a kind and generous person, some people will go to any length to get rich. And if you happen to be unpleasant or miserly, well, the odds of your being killed are vastly increased. Just consider Jane Haddam’s Not a Creature Was Stirring. In the novel, wealthy Robert Hannaford wants former FBI agent Gregor Demarkian to have Christmas Eve dinner with his family. It’s a very strange request, but Demarkian accepts. When he arrives at the Hannaford home, though, it’s too late. Robert Hannford has been murdered. Because of the weather, it’s highly unlikely that anyone from outside would have been able to commit the crime. But that still leaves several suspects, as Hannaford’s wife and children are all staying at the house. It’s not an easy case, and it’s a good reminder that being wealthy is no guarantee of safety. You’re probably better off with a modest enough income not to attract a lot of envy or spite.

IV Don’t hire just anyone.

Whether it’s cleaning, child minding, plumbing, or something else, people often hire outside help. But that can get you into a lot of trouble. You never know who might be coming into your home, as crime fiction makes clear. Just give a thought to Ruth Rendell’s Judgement in Stone. In it, wealthy and educated George and Jacqueline Coverdale look to hire a new housekeeper after the departure of their previous one. Jacqueline’s in a bit of a hurry to settle the matter, so very quickly, she hires Eunice Parchman. At first, it seems that things will go well enough. But Eunice has a secret – a secret she is desperate not to reveal. One day, that secret accidentally comes out, and the result is terrible tragedy. There are other books, too (no spoilers here!) in which someone who’s been hired for a job turns out to be, well, not what it seems on the surface. So if you’re looking for an electrician, a carpet shampoo company, or something else, do vet carefully. Better yet, learn some DIY skills.

V Dog walkers, beware!

Now, as a certified dog lover myself, I completely understand why people enjoy walking their dogs. It’s healthy exercise, and it’s an opportunity for the dog to take care of business. But if you’ve read enough crime fiction, you know that fictional dog walkers have a bad habit of finding bodies and otherwise getting into trouble. To be fair, there aren’t that many fictional dog-walking murder victims, but they do have a habit of getting involved in murder. Just ask Washington, D.C. law professor Mackensie ‘Mac’ Smith, who features in Margaret Truman’s Murder at the Kennedy Center. One night, he’s walking his dog, Rufus, when the dog finds a woman’s body. It turns out that the dead woman is Andrea Feldman, a campaign worker for U.S. Senator Ken Ewald, who is running for president. As it happens, Smith and Ewald are friends, so when Ewald is accused of her murder, he asks Smith’s help. It turns out to be a dangerous and complicated case, and all just because Smith was walking Rufus. Dog walkers, do be careful…

And there you have it. A few important safety tips brought to you by crime fiction. Have you got any you’d like to add?